Lao She’s "Divorce": The Reality and Absurdity of Marriage#
In Lao She's novel "Divorce," a group of people is depicted; they are junior clerks at the Finance Bureau in Beiping, each harboring regrets, dissatisfaction, and helplessness about their marriages. Despite various issues that make their relationships appear superficial, none of them ultimately get divorced. Brother Zhang is obsessed with matchmaking and preserving marriages, Old Li longs for the escape of a soulmate, and Uncle Ding oscillates between sanity and madness. Life seems trivial and mundane, yet crises lurk everywhere. People wander between the vast chasm of ideals and reality, finding it hard to escape the numerous challenges life presents, regardless of time or place. When reality shatters, they finally understand: the best form of marriage is not a seamless perfection but a coexistence with cracks.
01 Those Who Live for "Perfection" Will Ultimately Be Consumed by It#
Brother Zhang is the elder brother to everyone, a living deity in the Finance Bureau, adept at navigating social intricacies with finesse. His most sacred mission in life is to be a matchmaker and oppose divorce. He spends his days busy, either introducing partners to colleagues or mediating disputes among them, always acting as a microscope and a scale, quickly finding the right matches in the crowd.
When those old maids see him, their gray lives gain a hint of rose color. Brother Zhang’s scale is never compromised; he believes that any marriage not sanctioned by him is not a superior marriage, and he will absolutely not attend it. He values dignity and leads a lively life. The book describes him as a walking encyclopedia, knowledgeable about every field. He has held every minor official position. No matter how society changes, he always has work to do.
He is the only character in "Divorce" who does not want a divorce, yet he does not have a harmonious family. He spends his days socializing with friends and family, busy for others. Mrs. Zhang sacrifices herself for the family, revolving around her husband, daughter, and unaccomplished son, living as a mere housemaid. The spiritual gap between the couple is no less than that of Old Li and his wife.
The most terrifying thing in the world is living up to others' expectations. Brother Zhang builds a cage with the word "perfection," trapping himself and his wife and children. He does not realize that marriage is not an exhibit but the mutual acceptance of two real souls.
02 Those Who Pursue "Poetry" Ultimately Lose to "The Mundane"#
Old Li was born in the countryside and moved to the city to study at the age of fourteen or fifteen. After graduating from university, he became a clerk at the Finance Bureau in Beiping, relying on his exceptional writing skills and knowledge. At work, he silently undertook all the hard and tedious tasks, yet he never received a share of the rewards. He remained unnoticed in the bureaucratic world, unwilling to accept mediocrity.
He loves buying and reading books, a romantic who dreams of pursuing a bit of poetry in his mundane life. He eagerly anticipates a romantic marriage, envisioning an ideal partner who is passionate like a poem, joyful like music, and pure like an angel… But the reality is that his wife, with bound feet, spends her days chasing chickens, calling pigs, scaring children, and even cursing in the streets.
She comes from the countryside, bringing with her a rusticity that clashes with Old Li's spiritual world. One is full of literary aspirations and desires for soul connection, while the other only understands the trivialities of daily life. Living under the same roof, their hearts feel worlds apart. Old Li calculates divorce in his mind countless times, yearning for that unattainable "poetic life."
Thus, Old Li tries various ways to transform his wife, gradually leading to a marriage filled with annoyance. He patiently reads to her, while she is preoccupied with unfinished housework and hungry children. He kindly takes her out to see the world. His wife, however, does not even glance at the delicate items but buys a rustic scarf.
Sighs and hopelessness turn the marriage into a pile of ashes. The silence of their life makes each day increasingly dreary. Until one day, Old Li encounters Mrs. Ma, the landlord's daughter-in-law, in the yard. She is gentle, graceful, well-educated, and romantic, having eloped with her husband for love.
Especially upon learning that her husband has strayed and is often out and about, leaving her in a state of melancholy, Old Li gradually develops feelings for Mrs. Ma, even hoping she would divorce her husband. But this is ultimately just Old Li's daydream; Mrs. Ma always sees him as an ordinary neighbor. Later, when Old Ma returns home with his mistress, Mrs. Ma dines with them without any resistance and even spends the night in the same room with Old Ma.
Old Li's poetic fantasies shatter in an instant; he feels that Mrs. Ma is no different from those mundane women. Marriage is not a romantic drama filled with flowers and snow, but a documentary of daily life. As Yi Shu said, "Love, if it does not show the other person your most beautiful side, is the ugliest side; while marriage shows the other person your most authentic side." Those who always seek an "ideal life" elsewhere often overlook the most genuine warmth right in front of them.
03 The "Madman" Who Is Awake Is the Truly Enlightened One#
Uncle Ding is honest and was often despised by his wife in his youth. Due to life's misfortunes, he frequently turned to alcohol, causing many humorous incidents. For instance, he fell off a vehicle and ended up bruised; he handed his freshly received salary to a beggar and used official documents as fire paper. Yet he feels that being drunk in a stinking ditch is better than going home. His wife does not allow him to hold their son, not even to play with him, and some even say that the child is not Ding Er's.
Later, his wife left with their son, and Ding Er had nothing to wear. Someone gave him a large shirt, which he sold for alcohol. Penniless, he ended up on the streets, where Brother Zhang took him in. After entering Zhang's home, he never drank again. He wore Brother Zhang's discarded old clothes, his cotton robe resembling autumn willows, his pants like lotus seed baskets, and his hat like a large mushroom.
He is not a servant, but when Brother Zhang and his wife go out, he watches the house and adds firewood. In Brother Zhang's eyes, he is a useless yet indispensable person. He is always running errands, his legs moving only at others' commands, often chatting with birds, naming them like "Flower Monk," "Flying Tiger," "Leopard Head"… He considers himself the timely rain Song Jiang, often holding hero meetings in his small room.
His greatest hope in life is to receive a letter from his son, pouring his love and longing for his son into the children around him, who all like him very much. He is often scolded as useless and faces cold stares everywhere, yet he has more conscience than anyone else and understands gratitude. When Xiao Zhao plots against the Zhang family, eagerly anticipating marrying Brother Zhang's daughter Xiuzhen, Ding Er does not hesitate to kill him. He does not aim to be a hero; he just wants to protect the Zhang family's property and children.
He remains a good-for-nothing in others' eyes, with only Old Li willing to help him avoid trouble. Eileen Chang once said that life is a beautiful robe filled with lice. Life has never spared anyone; peeling back the gorgeous robe reveals each person's decay and misery. The truth of marriage often hides in the mad ramblings of the awakened. Uncle Ding seems insane, yet he understands better than anyone: marriage is not possession but tolerance; it is not about taking but giving.
In Conclusion#
Life is like a mirror; if you smile at it, it smiles back at you. Maintaining an optimistic attitude makes life beautiful everywhere. Years have passed, and the alleys of Beiping in "Divorce" still reflect the absurdity and reality of marriage like a funhouse mirror. The characters in the book are all trapped in the dilemma of wanting a divorce but not daring to, reflecting the helplessness of ordinary people habitually caught up in life.
Lao She, with a humorous yet stern pen, tells us through the ending where no one divorces: marriage has never been a perfect artwork but the mutual fulfillment of two flawed souls. What people seek in life is simply: in the bustling world, to have someone willing to accompany you through life slowly, basking in the sun in winter and enjoying the cool in summer. Just like the old well in the courtyard, covered in moss, yet always nourishing a piece of land. Those edges smoothed by marriage ultimately transform into the soft light of time.