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Being towards death

Heed not to the tree-rustling and leaf-lashing rain, Why not stroll along, whistle and sing under its rein. Lighter and better suited than horses are straw sandals and a bamboo staff, Who's afraid? A palm-leaf plaited cape provides enough to misty weather in life sustain. A thorny spring breeze sobers up the spirit, I feel a slight chill, The setting sun over the mountain offers greetings still. Looking back over the bleak passage survived, The return in time Shall not be affected by windswept rain or shine.
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19 Rules for Life

#读书摘要35
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This post is translated from Chinese into English through AI.View Original
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From the book "Social Psychology," 19 rules for life can be extracted. These rules include the importance of optimism in enhancing resistance to disease, the effectiveness of voluntary participation and effort in achieving desired outcomes, the tendency to attribute success to oneself and failure to external factors, the value of considering others' perspectives in conflicts, the need for realistic goal-setting in leadership roles, the benefits of listening to dissenting opinions, the limited impact of external appearance on others' attention, the benefits of accepting different groups and opinions, the adaptability to both negative and positive events, the importance of focusing on abilities and relationships for happiness, the influence of group dynamics on behavior, the impact of timing on decision-making, the consideration of consequences before agreeing to help, the influence of attitude on behavior, the separation of work and interests, the avoidance of media that promote violence and pornography, the importance of similarity in marital satisfaction, the tendency for individuals in groups to assume others will respond to events, and the reliance on objective facts and data rather than personal experience.

From the book "Social Psychology," 19 rules for life can be extracted:

  1. Having an optimistic mindset can enhance resistance to diseases. Most people with heart disease lack patience, are irritable, and easily angered.

  2. Anything that is voluntarily participated in and requires effort throughout the process will yield more effective and long-lasting results, such as weight loss.

  3. When achieving success, people often attribute it to their own efforts and abilities. However, when facing failure, they tend to blame others and the environment. It may be helpful to reverse this mindset during future failures.

  4. During arguments and conflicts, it is beneficial to consider the other person's feelings and focus on the issue rather than attacking the person.

  5. If you are a leader or decision-maker in a company, avoid setting excessively high goals when developing strategies and tasks. This can create significant pressure for subordinates. Failure to accomplish tasks can lead to greater feelings of defeat.

  6. In meetings or group settings, it is important to encourage minority opinions and listen to opposing views. Sometimes, the tendency to conform can lead to critical decision-making errors.

  7. Do not overly focus on your external image. The likelihood of being observed is not as high as you may imagine.

  8. We often believe that our own group is the best. However, try accepting different groups and individuals. Listen to those who have opposing opinions, as they may provide enlightening perspectives.

  9. Many major negative events do not cause as much pain as we imagine. Similarly, exciting events do not necessarily bring more or long-lasting happiness. Therefore, disabilities, illnesses, and poverty can be adapted to quickly. Likewise, mansions, luxury cars, and wealth cannot guarantee lifelong happiness.

  10. Pay less attention to self-image and focus more on your talents and interpersonal relationships to experience greater happiness.

  11. The power of a group can easily lead to crime and unethical behavior. Therefore, it is important to control oneself within a group and not underestimate the influence of incitement and instigation.

  12. If two choices are presented together and then the other person is given time to choose, they will choose the first option. However, if the first choice is followed by a period of time before presenting the second choice, the person will immediately choose the second option. If you want someone to agree with your opinion, now you know what to do, right?

  13. The "door-in-the-face" effect: When you agree to help with a small favor, you are more likely to agree to a slightly larger favor. Therefore, before agreeing to something, consider the consequences it may bring.

  14. Attitude determines behavior, and behavior reinforces attitude.

  15. Separate work from interests. Interests driven solely by rewards can gradually become burdens rather than genuine interests.

  16. Reduce exposure to television, pornography, violent websites, and magazines. Stay away from media that will do anything for page views, ratings, and money. These things can easily lead to addiction between pornography and violence, increasing the likelihood of crime.

  17. In marriage, the greater the similarity between husband and wife, the happier and longer-lasting the marriage tends to be.

  18. Within a group, individuals' attention to events diminishes as they assume others will react. The scenario of "bystander effect" in subways or buses perfectly illustrates this theory.

  19. Do not rely solely on personal experiences. Base decisions on objective facts and survey data.

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