When I was young, I always thought about becoming independent and achieving personal freedom. However, as I grew up, I found that when I actually became independent, I completely lost my personal freedom. In the struggle for the liberation of body and mind, the individual is placed in the most important position. Thus, we have all learned to say: everyone has the right to freedom and self-realization; we need independence and autonomy, we need personal achievement. Unknowingly, we have entered an era of individualization without individualism. Leaving behind families, villages, workplaces, and other communities, we have broken all inherent constraints. Individuals seem fearless, breaking free from everything, devouring everything.
What is the result? Traditional ethics have been broken, new beliefs have yet to be established, interpersonal relationships have generally become commodified, and everyone wants to be independent of others, yet is constantly relying on and utilizing others. Interactions no longer exist based on personal freedom needs such as leisure, hobbies, taste, and emotions, nor are they maintained based on social needs like reciprocity, cooperation, and mutual assistance, but rather exist based on unavoidable utility, fulfillment, and the desire for solitude. People view interactions through a sales mindset; all interpersonal relationships can be quantified, and social circles are the basic market.
Whether a person is worth interacting with depends on whether they are a potential consumer. If the other party has no value, one must at least ensure they do not suffer losses in the interaction. When visiting relatives and friends, the focus is on benefits, calculating the value of exchanges. Everyone thinks this way, the scope of human relationships gradually shrinks, and people become accustomed to closing the door to live their small lives. Unfortunately, outside the door are interests, and inside is also filled with calculations. Marriage has become an adventure; bride price, property, etc., are measures to mitigate marriage risks and provide guarantees. Therefore, high bride prices exist widely, not because of bad customs, but simply because the essence of the interpersonal relationships that bride prices carry today has changed.
In the past, bride price was a signal of goodwill between two families. Today, bride price is a guarantee for severing relationships between two families. For many, even close relatives are filled with calculations, revolving around retirement assets and inheritance, and there is always struggle among siblings. The fact that the elderly can support themselves has become common; they can live alone, perhaps avoiding family conflicts. Once they need care, it always leads to chaos. The descendants willing to support the elderly are often because the elderly have savings. Once there is no inheritance, they can immediately turn their backs.
Which elderly person does not wish for their children to enjoy their company? Supporting oneself and living alone are merely helpless acts of losing the freedom of choice. Which young person does not wish to be carefree? Yet they are trapped by various interpersonal relationships around them. Under the prevalence of "individualism" without "personal freedom," everyone must carefully protect themselves. In public places, one must consider the potential costs of acting bravely; if an elderly person falls, one must think about whether to help, preferably finding a witness; on trains, if a doctor saves someone, the conductor must register the doctor's qualifications, fearing that the rescued person might turn against them; even grassroots governance by the government has popularized door-knocking actions to prevent elderly individuals living alone from dying unnoticed for days.
In fact, no one is prepared for personal freedom, to live well on their own, whether materially or psychologically. Faced with the arrival of the era of individualization, we are caught off guard and have fallen into the dilemma of "individualism," rendering "personal freedom" nonexistent, and no one can escape. Personal freedom and solitude, seemingly a natural outcome, are actually a social capability that must be built on a complete social system.