Schopenhauer once said:
“To be like others, we lose three-quarters of ourselves.”
This statement is very relevant today.
Some people, in pursuit of so-called “success,” follow in others' footsteps and unknowingly lose their true selves.
- Do not be a “replica”
Every day we are busy “competing,” and if you don’t compete, it means you will be eliminated.
But most people rarely stop to ask themselves:
Who am I? What do I really want?
When others get promoted, you feel anxious;
When others buy houses, you feel stressed;
When other people's kids enroll in various interest classes, you follow suit;
When others post about their travels, you can't wait to book a flight.
To keep up with the “rhythm,” we desperately “get on board,” fearing that if we fall behind, we will be left behind.
But in reality, this so-called “catching up” is merely falling into an endless comparison game, ultimately losing ourselves.
Haruki Murakami once said:
“No matter what everyone in the world says, I believe my feelings are correct. No matter how others see it, I will never disrupt my own rhythm. If I like something, I can naturally persist; if I don’t like something, it won’t last long.”
Gradually, you lose yourself and become a “standardized” replica.
- Do not blindly follow trends
You often hear colleagues in the office talking:
“That old Liu family bought a school district house,” “The neighbor Wang family got a new car again,” “The kid downstairs is amazing, excelling in every subject.”
Most people think that only such a life is successful.
And those who haven’t kept up with this rhythm seem to be ruthlessly “eliminated.”
We look at these “other people's lives” and start to question ourselves: Is it only by living like this that I won’t be considered abandoned?
But the question is, does being like others really make us happy?
Schopenhauer already told us the answer: No.
Following others’ paths may give you a temporary sense of belonging, but that is fleeting and hollow.
In order to be like others, what is lost is the true self, and the cost of losing this self is far greater than imagined.
- Do not be “labeled” or “framed”
Thoreau said in “Walden”:
“I wish to deeply immerse myself in life, to suck the marrow out of life, to live solidly and simply, to eliminate everything that does not belong to life cleanly and neatly, to push life to the extreme, using the most basic forms, simple, simple, and again simple.”
Life does not need so many complex labels and frameworks, nor does it need to revolve around others' standards.
Sometimes, enjoying a good tea with a few close friends or climbing a mountain is also a kind of happiness.
In fact, this truth was already told to us over 1000 years ago by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius:
“The goal of life is not to stand with the majority, but to avoid falling into the ranks of the insane.”
We follow trends to earn money to buy school district houses, we follow trends to save money for new cars, we follow trends to enroll our children in various interest classes.
While we envy others living a flourishing life, we suffocate ourselves.
But is the path others take really suitable for you?
We always think that following the footsteps of the majority will help us avoid detours.
But don’t forget, everyone’s path is different; what suits others may not suit you.
Just like the saying we often hear: “No matter how good other people's children are, they are still someone else's.”
Everyone has countless possibilities, don’t they?
There is no perfect template in the world, nor is there a single path to success that fits everyone.
Postscript
Nietzsche once said:
“Become who you are!”
Only you know who you truly are.
The right path can only be walked by you.
Life is short; do not let others' lives define you, and do not sacrifice yourself just to be like others.
There are no standard answers in life, nor do we need them.
When you achieve the three “nos”: do not be a replica, do not blindly follow trends, do not be “labeled” or “framed,” perhaps that is when your inner strength begins to grow.