Why do people in the Celestial Empire always act in the name of "love," "responsibility," and "the greater good," while actually exercising control?#
The desire for control is not an individual issue. It is a collective phenomenon woven from history and culture, reflecting thousands of years of collective subconscious.
I. Historical Perspective: The "Management" Culture Under a Millennium of Autocracy#
The key word in the traditional political philosophy of the Celestial Empire is not "freedom," but "order." Since the Qin Dynasty, with the unification of writing, measurement, and weights, to the Han Dynasty's "suppressing a hundred schools of thought and exclusively honoring Confucianism," the basic logic of the state has been: "Unified cognition facilitates governance." The head of the family is the "ruler" of the household, and the words of parents are "sacred edicts"; officials are the "parent officials" of the locality, and subordinates must "obey arrangements." Control is the foundational order upon which the entire society operates.
Control = Authority = Stability is the underlying logic of Confucian order.
II. Geographical Perspective: The Celestial Empire as an Extreme Example of a "Familiar Society"#
Unlike the loose structures of continental countries, the village-based society of the Celestial Empire has everyone living within a web of relationships. In an environment where interpersonal relationships cannot be anonymous, individual privacy is almost nonexistent, and moral pressure is immense. Controlling others is to maintain "reputation" and "dignity," as well as to avoid the fear of "being ostracized."
The essence of control is a deep fear of losing control.
III. Cultural Perspective: Confucian Ethics Constructing the Framework of "Control and Being Controlled"#
Father is the guide for the son, the ruler is the guide for the minister, the husband is the guide for the wife—these three guides and five constants philosophically beautify the relationships of control. "Not obeying = not filial," and not being filial is unforgivable. The expression of love is not "I respect you," but "I control you, I arrange everything for you."
Control is packaged as "the love that is natural and just," rather than interference and infringement.
IV. Psychological Perspective: "Identity Anxiety" and "Internal Control Inability" in Collectivist Culture#
Many parents in the Celestial Empire themselves lack a sense of control over their destinies; their work, marriages, and lives are all "arranged." Therefore, they project their hopes onto the next generation, attempting to achieve an "ideal life" through controlling their children. Similarly, superiors in the workplace often oppress young people with a "senior" attitude, which is a form of "downward control" stemming from their own insecurities.
Controlling others is a compensatory mechanism for their feelings of powerlessness.
V. Philosophical Perspective: Freedom is the Last Accepted Idea#
In the Western Enlightenment, "individual" and "autonomy" became the core of modern philosophy, but the Celestial Empire has not experienced the same philosophical rupture throughout its long history. The spread of liberal thought is still constrained by the traditional mentality of "collectivism first" and "harmony is precious."
In a social structure that has not truly understood "self," freedom is often misunderstood as "selfishness" and "rebellion."
VI. Metaphors of Control in Literature: From "Dream of the Red Chamber" to "Fortress Besieged"#
In "Dream of the Red Chamber," Jia Mu is actually a typical "gentle controller"; Fang Hongjian in "Fortress Besieged" appears to drift freely but is actually tightly bound by marriage and tradition; including Lu Xun's "filial sons and virtuous grandsons" and "Ah Q," all analyze the logic of institutionalized domestication.
The literature of the Celestial Empire is a spiritual history of "control and escape."
VII. How Can We Escape the "Control" Trap?#
Reinterpret "love" not as control, but as respect for boundaries; establish a psychological awareness of "I have the right to choose," rather than "I must obey"; learn to "express boundaries" in intimate relationships and workplaces; understand "you are not an extension of your parents, nor a pawn of your boss"; respecting each other is the most basic bottom line in the adult world.
Conclusion · Straight to the Point:#
"I scold you for your own good," "I force you because I love you," "I arrange everything for you because I fear you will go astray."
—These controlling phrases sound gentle, but in practice, they make one lose themselves.
True love is to set you free, not to bind you as a slave. True respect is the courage to let go, not to be unyielding.