1. Reduce Relationships, Purify Circles#
Comedian Zhou Wei once performed a sketch called "Circles", in which the protagonist is a small character who is enthusiastic about managing circles but is burdened by relationships.
He gained many conveniences through his network of relationships and lived a comfortable life: no matter how late he returned home every day, there would always be a security guard saving a parking spot for him; if he couldn't get tickets, he just made a phone call and someone would deliver them to him; he could easily see famous experts in hospitals just by bringing people along.
In Zhou Wei's eyes, it seemed that as long as he climbed the circles and found relationships, everything could be solved. However, his downfall came quickly. When his son wanted to enter a prestigious high school, he tried to use his connections, but it didn't work this time.
He cleverly gave the principal's mother a valuable dog as a gift, but accidentally hurt the old lady and completely offended the influential person. His network of relationships turned into shackles.
Many simple things become complicated in circles. In the short term, it may seem like enjoying dividends, but it becomes a landmine in the future.
If you are not capable, it's useless to be in any circle. Only when the circle is pure can you focus on moving forward.
Young writer Liu Tonggang also wanted to fit into circles when he went to Beijing. He often felt anxious and lost when his colleagues ignored him because they were invited by their superiors for dinner. This emotional state seriously troubled him and even affected his work.
Later, he realized that his own abilities were more useful than mixing in circles. He focused on his work wholeheartedly, and a turning point in his life came.
In "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", there is a saying:
"This is the sunset, but we treat it as the dawn."
People who blindly move forward in their network of relationships always think that this is a new hope for the rest of their lives, but in fact, they are just blinded by utilitarianism. Forcing oneself into circles will only encounter people with different goals. Even if they can walk together for a while, they will eventually be forced to disperse.
Instead of scheming to fit into circles, it is better to increase one's own capital. Only when one's own value increases will relationships become useful.
2. Reduce Goals, Cultivate Oneself Deeply#
Do you have people like this around you?
They blindly follow others when they see someone making money from opening a store, but end up losing everything; they rush into the stock market when they see others making profits, but end up losing their fortune. They are like headless flies, looking for shortcuts everywhere, doing this and that, but achieving nothing.
Once I saw a meaningful picture: a person digging wells everywhere to find water sources. Every time he dug for a while without any harvest, he would move to another place and try again. In the end, he still gained nothing.
In fact, as long as he focused on one goal and dug deep, he would have found the water source long ago.
As Zhuge Liang said:
"A person who focuses on one thing will excel, while a person who is scattered will fail."
Instead of taking on low-quality tasks, it is better to stick to a goal and learn to cultivate deeply. Hattori Masatsugu, the president of the Japanese watch company Seiko, led the company through the impact of World War II and achieved steady development.
At that time, Swiss mechanical watches were selling well worldwide and became a symbol of noble status. Seiko spared no effort to study the quality of mechanical watches but still couldn't surpass its competitors. In the end, Hattori Masatsugu decided to give up useless efforts and lead everyone to fully develop quartz electronic watches.
After a long period of cultivation, the quartz electronic watches they produced had a monthly error of less than 15 seconds, far surpassing the king of watches, Rolex.
When this product was launched, it caused a sensation in the watch industry and became the most popular watch in the world.
Life is like this. The more goals you have, the more your energy is divided, and the harder it is to shine. Choosing a goal and digging deep is the key to building a solid foundation and improving competitiveness.
Recently, a Huawei employee who earned a top salary but never worked overtime became popular on social media, causing envy among many people.
It turned out that his skills were extremely advanced. He could solve network problems that others couldn't solve in a long time in just half an hour, so he was not afraid of being laid off.
There is a saying:
"Your reward is not proportional to your labor, but to the irreplaceability of your work."
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, and hard work is king.
Instead of digging many wells and lamenting the difficulties of life, it is better to dig one well deep and hold a diamond in your hand.
3. Reduce Distractions, Maintain an Open Mind#
"The New Book of Tang" says:
"There are no problems in the world, only ordinary people disturb themselves."
People with too many distractions often live in turmoil and pain.
There is a story about a merchant who obtained a priceless jewel and became restless. As a result, he fired his coachman, left the merchant caravan, and disguised himself as a lone traveler.
One day, someone called out to him on a mountain road, and in a panic, he drove away, causing himself and his horse carriage to fall off a cliff. In fact, the person just wanted to remind him that there was no way ahead and he needed to take a detour, but he harmed himself because of too many distractions.
A person's actions reflect their inner thoughts. The more you think, the more problems you have. A clear mind can understand the complexities of any situation.
Once, Confucius and his disciples were enjoying the summer in the woods and saw a hunchbacked man catching cicadas. They saw that he was agile and could catch a cicada with a bamboo pole. Confucius approached him and asked, "Do you have any secrets for catching cicadas?"
The old man replied, "In this vast world, I only have catching cicadas in my eyes. Nothing else can distract my thoughts. How could I not catch cicadas?"
In "Fu Lei Talks about Art", there is a saying: "Shallow people lack inner thoughts. Without inner thoughts, they lack composure and permanent life."
In life, when the mind is filled with distractions, it is difficult to focus on the events themselves and it is easy to take detours. In work, thinking too much can lead to being entangled in external interference and easily missing opportunities.
Only by reducing distractions and cultivating oneself in a pure state of mind can one lay a solid foundation in the face of challenges.
4. Reduce Desires, Cultivate Spiritual Abundance#
Zhou Guoping once told a fable: A rabbit loved admiring the moon. The moon's waxing and waning had its own charm in her eyes. Impressed by her extraordinary appreciation ability, the gods gave her the moon. However, when the white rabbit admired the moon again, her mood was completely different: "This is my moon!"
She stared at the moon as if a landlord was guarding his treasure. When clouds covered the moon, she became nervous and uneasy. When the full moon was incomplete, she felt heartbroken. She was always worried about losing her precious possession.
In her eyes, the moon's waxing and waning was no longer charming but instead brought endless worries about gains and losses. Life has a limit, and excessive desires are actually a burden on the body and mind.
In the popular drama "Go! Mom", Qin Wei, who runs her own online store, has a husband who is a programmer with a stable income and a well-behaved daughter. They live a happy life together.
However, she is not satisfied with the current situation and becomes increasingly vain. In order to buy designer handbags, she maxes out her credit cards and can't even pay off bills of a few hundred dollars; in order to get her daughter into the most famous primary school, she is willing to borrow high-interest loans to buy a house in a problematic school district, which leads to the whole family being chased by violent debt collectors; in order to earn more money, she forces her husband to work multiple jobs at the same time, which leads to his collapse and hospitalization.
After experiencing a nightmare-like life, she finally realizes her mistakes in front of her husband's sickbed: "We are just an ordinary family. There is no need to pursue so much. It was me who always wanted to compare with others, pretending to be rich, buying houses in school districts, and borrowing high-interest loans. In fact, only the three of us being together is a better life."
When she realizes the reality and no longer aims too high, the tension in her life relaxes, and her home becomes filled with laughter and joy.
Sotina Zen Master said:
"In life, desires are like branches on a tree. You cannot completely eliminate them, but you need to prune them regularly."
Life is a process of eliminating the unnecessary and preserving the essence. The best way to live the second half of life is to reduce desires and enrich the mind. Don't be captivated by excessive desires, don't be bound by a flashy life, learn to moderate, and live life to the fullest.
Wang Guozhen once said:
"If you want to live freely, you can only live an ordinary life; if you want to live brilliantly, you can only live a painful life; if you want to live long, you can only live a simple life."
There are countless paths in life, and no matter which one you choose, you will have to bear additional pain. The Peach Blossom Spring where one lives in seclusion also has people pursuing fame and fortune. In complex environments, there are always people who focus and concentrate on improving themselves.
In life, if you want less, you can live more freely; if you want glory, you can only live in pain; if you want longevity, you can only live a simple life.
May we all simplify our lives and find the path that suits us.